On the lighter side of life

Posted: 09/04/2011 in Education, Family, Government, Military
Tags: , , , , , ,

Teamwork!

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20” and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation “Genesis 3:10.” Upon opening his Bible to the passage, he let out a roar of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 reads: (Pastors note) “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”

Genesis 3:10 reads: “And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.”
================================
A blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her purse but can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer,” states the blonde.

“Well, I’ll need to see an identification, Mam,” replies the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this photo-id of me.”

“Please let me see it,” replies the cop.

The blonde cop holds up the mirror and looks into it. Then she says, “Sorry Mam, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
================================
One night, a torrential rain-soaked northwestern Minnesota. The next morning the resulting flood water came up about 6 feet into most of the homes in the area.

To avoid the damages of the flood water, Mrs. Johnson had crawled to the roof of her home for safety. Soon Lena, her neighbor joined her. As they sat commenting on the rain and damages waiting for help to arrive, Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she watched it float far out into the front yard, then back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house.

Her curiosity got the best of her, so she said, “Lena, do you see dat dare baseball cap a floatin’ away from da house, den back again?”

Lena replied, “Oh yeah Mrs. Johnson, dats my husband Ole. I tole dat lazy-so-and-so dat he vas gonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!!

Advertisements

Thanks

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s